Shopping Trip

Run to the store

After work.

Pick up a few

From my mini list.

Overstuff my

Carry basket.

Checkout line

Ringing out.

Look behind,

There’s quite a line!

Seems I arrived

At the perfect time!

Feeling successful,

And compassionate.

Smiling,

Make some room

For the gal’s heavy things

Behind me.

Bagged up

Payment made

Off I start to go.

An Ol’ neighbor

Shouts a sweet hello.

I answer back

With a “How are you?”

Quick exchange.

Life

And a grocery store

In a small town.

Not one person knew

I conquered

A panic attack

To be there.

Kind Regards

and # winning – K

Awkward

Advertisements

Hello?

Can you see me?

You, sitting on the edge

Of my couch

Head tilted to your phone.

Can you hear me?

You sitting there

Physical body present,

Mindset unknown.

Can you talk to me?

You sitting there,

Quietly disengaged.

My inquiries,

Go unanswered.

Why are you here?

You sitting there,

Silent.

Me?

I feel trapped,

Sad,

Alone.

Kind Regards

and present – K

Infect

Individuality

Inside myself

I know my weakness’s

I know my strengths.

What triggers my tears,

What triggers my fears.

I have a grasp on

What brings me joy.

All that

Cannot define,

Me as a person.

Whether I’m bad

Or if I am good.

Not one thing

Above, can

Decrease my passion,

Deep within.

I WILL tell you,

I’m definitely NOT an

Opera Singer.

But with so many

Other things

I CAN DO!

My inner self

Knows I’m a winner.

Kind Regards and reminding you to concentrate on the positive – K

Drowning in Plain Sight

Drowning in plain sight.

I read an article recently where a woman used this phrase to express how she felt during her battle with depression.

Drowning in plain sight.

Wow, I thought to myself. What a powerful statement. What an accurate statement.

Walking into work the other morning I was suffocated by my own anxiety. My chest was tight. My breath was quick. My mind… racing. My throat… restricted.

There it was… my anxiety. Drowning me… in plain sight.

I walk past my coworkers on the way to my desk. “Good Morning!” I say as I toss a “genuine” smile in their direction. I do my best not to look anyone directly in the eye and walk hurriedly as though I’m late to be somewhere. No one thinks anything of it. They think everything is fine. (This is a skill I have perfected over the years.)

Little did they know… I’m drowning…

As I sit down at my desk the restriction around my neck tightens. I’m trying to breathe… “just keep breathing” I tell myself. Find something to occupy your mind…

Drowning in plain sight.

Then I start to think to myself. Where is the life saver, the raft, the arm floaties?

In these moments there is a choice. I can choose to let this feeling control me or I can learn to control the emotion. How does one stop treading water and learn to swim during these times? (Or at least do the doggy paddle!)

Fast forward on this day… I survived! I stayed the entire work day. I didn’t go home. I didn’t implode, or explode and no one around me ever knew what happened.

I chose to find a floatation device and hang on.

(To be clear, it was not easy and I was exhausted. But I moved forward. Slowly, but surely, I came out victorious!)

So, what did I do?

I reached into my “tool kit” and found the flotation device I had stored there just for this occasion. (Like these occasions are actually planned! HA!)

First thing I realized was that I didn’t have to do this alone. I sent a text to my counselor to let her know I was drowning and was in need of extra ideas.

Secondly, I talked through what was going on with my best friend. (I find at times if you speak the emotions out loud it will release their power! Writing the emotions out has the same effect!)

Next, I snuck off to the handicap stall in the bathroom and cried. That’s right, just let myself feel the wave! I listened to my mind and my body, I found appreciation for why it was sending me these warning signs. (I have learned that these moments exist to warn us of something. Our bodies have a message for us. Sometimes I simply ask myself… What do you want me to know? You’ll be surprised what you may learn. I always take a moment to say thank you. I appreciate the warning, as the warning is there as a means of protection!)

At the suggestion of my counselor, I talked myself through an exercise: As you breathe identify 5 things you see; 4 things you hear; 3 things you smell; 2 things you taste; 1 positive thing you feel.. (This forced my anxious thoughts to slow down. My breath became calm and more grounded.)

Then finally, I wrote down gratitudes. I wrote down positive affirmations. I wrote down statements about myself that are true. (Did you know your brain cannot feel two emotions at one time? Focusing on what you love, believe, and that which makes you happy forces your brain to shift in that direction.) This exercise pulled the plug on the pool. The Tide turned. I suddenly felt myself find clarity and the anxiety lifted.

There I was. Exhausted… but standing with my head above water. I survived.

img_0359

My hope is that by sharing this story it will help you find strength and hope. Maybe one of the tools shared here will be something you’ve been looking to add to your emergency kit. Every day is a new day, another opportunity to witness yourself come out victorious. Every step is a step forward. Tiny victories are still victories!

Much love, Super Snail 🐌

Tide

Empath? Huh? What?

Wow, you’re a What?

You feel that way, why?

****

Today I’m so

Tired, and drained!

Blah! ,Snore,!

Happy day, happy people!

Weeeee I’m dancing 💃!

🌷🦋🌷

Emotional UP!

Emotional DOWN.

Stop the roller coaster I wanna get off! 😝😜

Sounds bipolar doesn’t it!

I’m nuts!

Ahem, SURPRISE!

No! You are NOT nuts!

Goofy at times, giggles, but

Intelligent, hardworking, kind…. etc etc but definitely

NOT nuts!

Well I feel that way!

Check this out!

Trust me!

Click the link!

The Science Behind Empaths

Forget Me Knots!

❤️❤️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️❤️❤️

Kind Regards and believing in you, always – K

🎵🎶💃🎶🎵

Article From Psychology Today.

Always You

In the beginning,

You were closer

Than anyone could ever be.

Little flutters, kicks and

Finally, I held you.

Then every night, up at 3.

To feed, rock and nurture.

My love surrounded us

To keep you safe and warm.

Back to work,

I had to go,

Throughout my day

Constantly, worrying

Wondering.

What were you

Doing, thinking,

Eating?

Often I would cry.

Until I rushed to pick you up,

My eves were spent

Holding, hugging, rocking

Singing you a lullaby,

Until you finally slept.

Lovingly I peered

Upon my sleeping babe.

And time continued on.

Seasons passed.

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Days flew by

We tracked your height

With an old yard stick

A mark upon the door trim wood.

We were close

Life wasn’t perfect

But felt fabulous.

And Oh so good!

Soon you were off to school.

Everyday, I wondered

What you were

Doing, thinking.

As the sun went down

In our world.

After homework was done.

We sat around the

Kitchen table,

You would share your stories.

We’d laugh and giggle.

Often,

We’d rush to your

Baseball or basketball

Practice or a game.

As my day would

come to a close,

I would wonder

What was I doing

Right or wrong?

Was I teaching you enough?

Giving you life’s resources

To be

Accomplished in your life?

Often I searched for answers,

As I laid there

Trying to sleep.

And time went on.

Seasons passed.

Now,

As the sun gently rests

At the end of my day.

Random texts arrive.

Phone calls,

I’m blessed with

Pictures in the mail.

You share

what you are

Doing and thinking.

I am proud of what

You are accomplishing,

In your daily life.

When I go to bed at night.

I smile and am

Ever so thankful.

Knowing it’s time

And patience

That has kept us growing closer.

Though distance keeps us apart.

As the years go by

And the seasons pass.

As it has always been

Since your arrival.

No matter how old you are

Or where your life

Might take you,

In my heart

The truest love.

Will always belong

To you.❤️

Kind Regards and thinking about my children -K

❤️

Photography compliments and copyrighted by BGage & K of TheBlackWallBlog.

Authentic

Each Morning I Awake

Saturday morning

I awaken,

Start the coffee,

Let the dogs out,

Let the dogs in,

It’s another day.

I pour my first cup,

Steaming roasted gold

Into my favorite

Coffee mug,

☕️

Savoringly sipping,

Still groggy,

Mind blurry,

In my

Early morning daze.

Opening up my notebook

I jot today’s date,

Morning’s mind fog

Laggardly dissipates.

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.” -Woody Allen

Kind Regards and wishing you a fabulous Saturday -K

Photographs compliments and copyrighted by BGage and K of TheBlackWallBlog

Genie

Wednesday Wisdom 4.18.18

“I like the sound of that…”

🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶

Sing a little ditty

Belt loudly

Out your song!

Show positivity

And kindness!

Let everyone know

We all are one.

Yes!

“All of us” belong!

🎶🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶

Kind Regards and wishing you a wonderful Wednesday -K

🎶🎶❤️🎶🎶

Photography compliments and copyrighted by BGage and Determinedsupersnail of TheBlackWallBlog.

Song

One step back

Fret! Fret! Fret!

Imagined the worst!

Worried!

Uptight!

Paced!

Couldn’t eat!

Couldn’t sleep!

Shoulders met my earlobes!

Doubt!

Felt Insecure!

Overly sensitive!

All because

I misread

The situation!

Why?

An old habit!

I thought I’d overcome.

I’m a banana head!

Now?

Chalk it up!

Let it go!

Laugh it off!

Look in the mirror!

Make a silly face!

Give myself the raspberry!

****

Often I seem to mirror

New England weather,

Yesterday

windows open

After work

I raked!

Some lawn had appeared!

Today,

It snowed!

Mother Nature dear

What ARE you up to?

Let it go!

Laugh it off!

Go look in the mirror,

Make a funny face!

Give yourself a raspberry!

Stop being a banana head!

Ha!

****

Remember:

****

#Winning!

Kind Regards and chuckling -K

Photography compliments and copyrighted by BGage and K at TheBlackWallBlog.

Thwart

What DO YOU DO?

Long week at work,

FINALLY Friday!

Feeling accomplished,

Then…

Your NEW boss asks

I need you to make

A list…

We really don’t know

What it is you do?

Could you make a list

So we know?

HUH?

WHAT?

UHM, OK…

Heart feels heavy

Brain goes blank,

Shoulders droop,

You take the piece of

Paper and drag your feet

To your office.

😮

That was Friday

Today is Saturday

A fresh new day!

The sun is shining!

It’s over 40°!

And I’m singing

“Everyday, Everyday,

Everyday, I write the book…”

Elvis Costello and The Attractions – 1998

G’Ma’s trying on

Her first pair

Of never ever say never

Pre-ripped embroidered

Jeans!

I Am In Love!

Feel like I’m stylin’

In my jammies!

And YES it was me.

When they first appeared,

Who once said

“Why would anyone ever

Buy a pair of pre-ripped

Jeans?

Of course that was about

Twenty years ago.

“When I knew it all.

🤔

Giggles!

Kind Regards and getting smarter everyday -K

# winning

Faceless

I’d Rather Be….

Cruising down back country roads…

Just to

See what we can see,

Looking for fun clicks

With my buddy BGage

Making up silly songs

As we putt putt along.

“Drippity doo da…”

Enjoying some birthday

Cake with my daughter

In NC!

She sent me a pic

Hilarious!

It’s pic 17 of 17

Sent to me on 3/17!

As I’m sipping hot coffee

On this brisk

Sunday morning.

Looking over clicks

And journaling.

The truth is,

As my mind wanders

I can be wherever

I choose to be!

Kind Regards and

#winning -K

I’d Rather Be…

Wednesday’s Wisdom 12/20/2017

A little something from Tuesday’s lunch!

I had a 2017 ornament made for my daughter of the following! Who would have thought 33 years later!

2 generations of “and laying a finger aside of his nose…”

‘It’s the season
for memories, fondly remembering those cherished of the past. A wonderful opportunity to join in, have fun and make new!

#winning

❤️

Kind Regards and believing in the magic of the season -K

Photography from BGage and K’s box of family photos. Copyrighted 2017.

Relate

Vacation colors in Troutman, NC

 

Each morning, as I took my walk,  IPhone in my pocket,

and for those who know me, my head in the clouds.

I am drawn to the beauty in the sky.

Clouds, sunshine…

Ever changing, always unique.

img_0867
Morning  pinks!

Each morning I was greeted with the distant  sound of a rooster crowing.

Though I never saw him, each morning, better than an alarm clock,

he let the world  know it was time to rise and shine!

 

Grayish with pink
One morning as I walked out my daughter’s front door. There was this beautiful artwork in the sky!
Good morning sunshine
Right at my halfway point, I looked across the street. And this is what I saw.
Golden morning
On the other edge of the field were cream colored clouds.
Band of Gold
There it is my band of gold across the sky.
pinks galore
Another day of pink delight!
Fall in NC
The last of the Fall colors. It reminded me of home in New Hampshire.
Decorating for  the Holidays
Oh how Blessed I felt as I helped my daughter & granddaughter decorate for Christmas!

 

Today,  I am  prepping to fly back to NH.

Hard to say goodbye, tears, hugs, but comfort in knowing

We will soon be together again.

 

XXOOXXOOXXOOXX

 

 

Kind Regards – G’ma K

 

 

 

Photography copyrighted and compliments of THEBLACKWALLBLOG- 11/2017.

Temporary

Wishing You the Best Day!

I’m Singing –

“Every morning I wake up… I say a little prayer for you.”

soul happty

That moment you awake, 

Swirling ’bout your mind

A random  upbeat song,

Somehow sparkles

From some memory 

You dreamt,

While you were deep in sleep,

You head  to start the coffee

Barefoot,

Doing a hallway boogie

While,

Your soul overflows with tune.

Feeling jovial and  free.

Pondering only  a moment

 I wonder

 A Morning starting  with music,

What else can be this sweet?

Dionne Warwick- Click here

Wouldn’t it be  fabulous if we could find a way to hang onto that morning musical feeling all day!!

Music really does seem to elevate our positive mind!

It helps me to block out the toxic environment around me, whether it  be  a person  or

just the negativity of the atmosphere.

If you are able, try to find a way to include music through out your  day.

Sing a little ditty, find some headphones and play it at your desk or in  your office.

Go for a drive at lunchtime  and ‘CRANK THOSE TUNES”!

Kind Regards and singing – K

Particular

What Defines You.

Her childhood was terrible.

At the age of 18

she made the decision

that she would rise above

Anything negative that her parents

could have said or done.

Her thoughts and actions were

her own responsibility.

Her parents could  not change their past.

But,

she had the power to change her own future.

And  did.

 

img_0447

So live your life the best you can

Pay it forward,  love unconditionally.

Remember, people are people.

The only person you have control over

is yourself.

 

Today is the perfect day to

start molding and finding

the path that  helps you to become

the greatest, most beautiful

version of yourself.

 

img_0550

Options

Just because you have had tragedy in your  life

It does not  have define who  you are.

Almost  everyone has had to deal

with something that rocks their world.

Your  choice?

Allow  it to make you bitter,

play the blame game

Or

Go through the  grieving  process

And move  beyond it.

It is our reaction to what happens to us

that helps  define  our character.

People experience terrible losses.

As  they go through

the  grieving process,

they have to experience

and feel all the steps it takes to heal.

But

Feeling anguish, sadness and lost

does not give them permission

to be  unkind to others.

The past  is the past

I have yet to find  anyone who has been

able  to go backwards and redo

what has already happened.

No  one should be held accountable

for days gone by

when they were learning

the dos and don’ts

and  truly believed they

were doing their best.

The  only thing in our control

is ourselves.

What can we do?

Each day strive on being a little  bit

better than the day prior.

 

#winning

 

 

 

 

Kind Regards and many warm hugs – K

 

 

Photography compliments and copyrighted by THEBLACKWALLBLOG – 2017

Atmospheric