Dreams Can Come True 12.25.18

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Merry Christmas all!

I hope this finds you all happy and enjoying a festive day with loved ones.

Whether it be friends or family, having  people around to be supportive and to
care for is probably more important than a lot of people realize. (Including me for a long time)

I, for the first time in years, enjoyed sneaking over to my daughter’s house

to be there when my youngest granddaughter awoke.

Yes! I got to see her face as she came around the corner and found

Santa had indeed, left many glorious gifts under the tree!

Even those darn reindeer left quite a mess in the driveway, spreading oats all about!

(Viualize a 4 1/2 year old with hands on hips looking disgusted. tee! hee!).

It is the first time in years that I have had this pleasure.

My heart is singing!!

 

If you are spending a day alone, as I have in the past. That is okay too.

Do your best to think about what you are grateful for. What is in your life

that causes you to smile?

Watch an upbeat movie, comedy, favorite sport’s show. By all means, if someone invites you over to din din, GO.

I often spent the day, relaxing in my jammies, making it my own special occasion.

What ever you decide works best for you, GO FOR IT!

Promise me one thing, if for one minute you feel darkness or an overwhelming sadness creeping in… Get yourself out of the house and around people or pick up the phone and call someone to chat! If needed head to the local hospital. Whatever you need to do to make it through this day… DO IT.

YOU ARE WORTH IT!
As seems to be my norm… I found a few quotes to share:

 

“When the universal timing and our timing are different, that doesn’t mean that

things aren’t working. Trust the process.” – Unknown

 

It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.” – Sir Edmund Hillary

 

“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the 

environment in which you first find yourself.” – Mark Caine

 

If I can make it, so can you!! xxooxxoo

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Kind Regards and sending holiday hugs to all – K

😉

Photography copyrighted and compliments of BGage. Quote signage created in Text2Pic and Motivation quotes brought together by K – 12.2018

Out of My Comfort Zone

GPS shows me where to go

Otherwise, it’s two dogs

One cat and me.

Not a familiar place

Nor even a smiling face

Do I recognize.

I search for beauty

Whenever I can,

Such as the glorious blooms

Next door

At a place that looks

Like it could be haunted.

Yet no fear is felt

When I walk by,

Only a soulful peace.

A welcome contrast to my

Inner doubt and turmoil.

Loneliness keeps knocking.

Outwardly you’d not know

Of my tears shed behind

Closed doors.

I keep pushing forward

Thru panic’s swirling fog

And depression’s darkness.

Late day migraines are

Currently my reward.

The mind’s grand tricks

To force my surrender.

My will grows weary,

Yet I push on

Determined.

❤️💃🏻💃🏻❤️

Kind Regards- K

🤗

Photography via K at TheBlackWallBlog Dec 2018.

Boundaries and no answers. 12.16.18

Dealing with changes is challenging no matter what your age.

At 56 after waiting 8 very long years for my son, a vet and I, to find a middle ground, I decided to make that move from NH to NC.

Sadly/gladly, thanks to my daughter, the day we packed the truck for the move, I saw my son for the first time in two years.

He stated, you’ve never came to visit me. Interesting statement considering I had been told his home was off limits.

Trying for a mom hug, the response? “You start any shit and I’ll get in my truck and leave.”

Painful? Hell yes!

Am I still sad? Definitely!

Can I continue to keep my life on hold? No!

He’s angry about life.

I’ve researched, tried at least 20 plus ways to approach him.

It doesn’t work!

I’ve been in NC, barely a week and now I’m getting angry texts. Some random subjects that make zero sense, others make sense but, why now?

He just threatened me with not being in my life if I don’t give a particular item of mine, that I had planned on giving him.

Uhm, hello?

He would have had it the day I moved. Unfortunately in texting with him a few days earlier he informed me he wasn’t going to be there, so I packed it.

Three guesses which box? Honestly, I don’t know.

My dad was a correctional officer in the 1940-50’s. I have his badge. My son followed a similar route, not the same state. Yes, it would be awesome for him to have it.

But he’s accusing me of hiding it from him. Sigh.

So after numerous ugly texts that started last night. Then continued into today.

I blocked him.

Then got physically ill.

😢

He text me a different way.

“You blocked me?”

I didn’t answer.

I’m out of answers.

My son always says-

A MOTHER NEVER GIVES UP!

He’s Right!

I JUST PUT MYSELF IN TIMEOUT!

❤️

“It’s okay to be scared, but you have to get out there, open up, love, make mistakes, learn, be stronger, and start all over again. -Unknown

Kind Regards and

Moving forward- K

😎

Photography compliments of K of TheBlackWallBlog 12.18

Shameful Behavior

I am witness

Of what you have done

To her.

Inflicting her heart

With the agonizing pain

Of ten-thousand deaths

With your manipulative

Ways.

Making her life decisions

Without consultation,

Imprisoning her in a world

Of self doubt.

Tempting her with

glimpses and promises

of your love and warmth.

Then yanking them away

Knocking her off her feet.

Time and again.

Never allowing

The dust of comfort

And peace to settle.

You are an idiot

Undeserving of her

Unselfish gifts of

Heart, warmth, caring

And love.

It’s simple.

Passive aggressive

Behavior is your specialty.

A person’s life decisions

Belong to them.

Freedom of choice

Through communication

And collaboration with

Knowledge of all the facts.

The only existing copyright

Of creating circumstances

For blind lifestyle choices

Belong to God and the

universe.

To think all her pain

Was avoidable,

If only you were who

You portrayed yourself

To be.

Unfortunately, the scars

Of your making

Will remain forevermore.

My only hope is

That I have saved her

In time.

As for you,

I know she wishes you

The best

And will always be dumb

Enough to hold a tiny spark

Of hope.

For she is a beautiful

believer in the power

Of good in everyone.

❤️

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”-

-Oprah Winfrey

The one who is meant for you encourages you to be your best, but still loves and accepts you at your worst.” – Unknown

Kind Regards as I help a friend – K

❤️🌎❤️

Changes 10.29.18

Exciting and scary all at the same time.

My house is being shown this coming weekend.

I’m sorting and boxing up 28 years of my NH life. Getting ready for a change.

Actually, it goes further back if you count the items and memories saved from the sale of my childhood home in early 2000.

Mixed emotions.

Sadness, thankfulness and mindfully staying open to new adventures.

If everything falls into place, a month from now, I shall be living near my youngest granddaughter!

At only 4 1/2, what a delight it will be to be a regular part of her life, instead of flying in every 6 months and FaceTime chats and dinners!

Bittersweet, selfishly wanting both things at once. My home and the freedom to travel to see her every week.

I’ll will keep you posted!

Kind Regards – K

#winning