Inspirational Blogs

What a fabulous way to

Discover new Blogs!

I wanted to give honorable

Mention to three out of my numerous favorites.

❤️🌎❤️🐾🐾🐾🐾☀️🦋☀️

1) What a delightful refreshing find!

philosophy through Photography

2) The opening quote on this blog inspired me!

The Rendezvous Club

3) Cleverly written, wonderful photography!

http://dinosaursdonkeysandms.com/2018/05/01/7-ways-to-manage-fatigue/

❤️🌎❤️🌎❤️🌎❤️🌎❤️🌎❤️🌎

Kind Regards

and sharing- K

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Drowning in Plain Sight

Drowning in plain sight.

I read an article recently where a woman used this phrase to express how she felt during her battle with depression.

Drowning in plain sight.

Wow, I thought to myself. What a powerful statement. What an accurate statement.

Walking into work the other morning I was suffocated by my own anxiety. My chest was tight. My breath was quick. My mind… racing. My throat… restricted.

There it was… my anxiety. Drowning me… in plain sight.

I walk past my coworkers on the way to my desk. “Good Morning!” I say as I toss a “genuine” smile in their direction. I do my best not to look anyone directly in the eye and walk hurriedly as though I’m late to be somewhere. No one thinks anything of it. They think everything is fine. (This is a skill I have perfected over the years.)

Little did they know… I’m drowning…

As I sit down at my desk the restriction around my neck tightens. I’m trying to breathe… “just keep breathing” I tell myself. Find something to occupy your mind…

Drowning in plain sight.

Then I start to think to myself. Where is the life saver, the raft, the arm floaties?

In these moments there is a choice. I can choose to let this feeling control me or I can learn to control the emotion. How does one stop treading water and learn to swim during these times? (Or at least do the doggy paddle!)

Fast forward on this day… I survived! I stayed the entire work day. I didn’t go home. I didn’t implode, or explode and no one around me ever knew what happened.

I chose to find a floatation device and hang on.

(To be clear, it was not easy and I was exhausted. But I moved forward. Slowly, but surely, I came out victorious!)

So, what did I do?

I reached into my “tool kit” and found the flotation device I had stored there just for this occasion. (Like these occasions are actually planned! HA!)

First thing I realized was that I didn’t have to do this alone. I sent a text to my counselor to let her know I was drowning and was in need of extra ideas.

Secondly, I talked through what was going on with my best friend. (I find at times if you speak the emotions out loud it will release their power! Writing the emotions out has the same effect!)

Next, I snuck off to the handicap stall in the bathroom and cried. That’s right, just let myself feel the wave! I listened to my mind and my body, I found appreciation for why it was sending me these warning signs. (I have learned that these moments exist to warn us of something. Our bodies have a message for us. Sometimes I simply ask myself… What do you want me to know? You’ll be surprised what you may learn. I always take a moment to say thank you. I appreciate the warning, as the warning is there as a means of protection!)

At the suggestion of my counselor, I talked myself through an exercise: As you breathe identify 5 things you see; 4 things you hear; 3 things you smell; 2 things you taste; 1 positive thing you feel.. (This forced my anxious thoughts to slow down. My breath became calm and more grounded.)

Then finally, I wrote down gratitudes. I wrote down positive affirmations. I wrote down statements about myself that are true. (Did you know your brain cannot feel two emotions at one time? Focusing on what you love, believe, and that which makes you happy forces your brain to shift in that direction.) This exercise pulled the plug on the pool. The Tide turned. I suddenly felt myself find clarity and the anxiety lifted.

There I was. Exhausted… but standing with my head above water. I survived.

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My hope is that by sharing this story it will help you find strength and hope. Maybe one of the tools shared here will be something you’ve been looking to add to your emergency kit. Every day is a new day, another opportunity to witness yourself come out victorious. Every step is a step forward. Tiny victories are still victories!

Much love, Super Snail 🐌

Tide

Cees FFC Challenge 4.22.18 -Free and Easy

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Free books –

Take one,

Leave one.

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Out For Breakfast at

A Local Mom & Pop

Store – Emma’s

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Out and about visiting the many covered Bridges in our area.

This one located in

Cilleyville, NH 😆

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Tom, Strutting his stuff!

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A plane that turns with the direction of the wind.

East Andover, NH

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

The Ducks are back!

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Ok you turkeys…

Remember, look both ways before you cross the road.

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Taking flight!

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Riding in the sunshine!

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

We adore Cee’s photography challenges!

Have you tried one?

Cee’s Photography Link

Kind Regards -K & friends

Photography copyrighted and compliments of BGage & DeterminedSupersnail & K of TheBlackWallBlog.

B&W Open Topic for Cee

No professional photography.

Nothing tinted or brightened

Or enhanced.

Just some scanned memories

Of life.

 

Wanna know a secret?

Wanna know a secret?

🤭

“But, Mom, I couldn’t help myself!”

😂

Love ❤️

😘

Kind Regards – K

Photos compliments of K of TheBlackWallBlog-various clicks from life’s shoe box.

Just ‘round the corner.

Just ‘round the corner

You will find yourself.

You’ve been there all along.

Waiting for you to realize

You are wonderfully loved and

Known to be so kind.

Exquisitely unique and perfect,

Just the way you are. ❤️

 

CB&W BADGE

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CORNER, B&W

One of Cee’s latest challenges!

 

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🎵

Kind Regard and not cutting corners – K 😎😄

Photography compliments and copyrighted by BGage and K of TheBlackWallBlog.

Cee’s B&W Photo Challenge

Of course we LOVE Cee’s Challenges- Have you tried one?

 This week’s challenge: All thing’s Farm related 

Where we come from, this is an everyday sighting!

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Ye ol’ outhouse!

 

 

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Neigh!

 

 

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As the snow slides…

 

 

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No farm is complete without a tractor!

Or without some country music to set the mood. ENJOY!

 

Montgomery Gentry – My Home Town

Tim McGraw – Meanwhile Back At Mama’s ft. Faith Hill

 

 

Kind Regards and wearing my overalls – K

XXOOXX

 

 Photography compliments and copyrighted by BGage.

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What DO U C?

Open your eyes

 

 

 

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The Old and the New!

 

 

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Sad leftover from flooding a few years ago. devastation.

 

 

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Fall Winter plus- Textures

 

 

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Taken In Maryland, the driver was literally going 55, I just started clicking pics!

 

 

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Sending warm healing thoughts to all our friends in Texas.

 

Kind Regards and so happy to see you- K

Photography compliments/copyrighted by BGage and TheBlackWallBlog.

Structure

Not Visiting Dale…

Good morning, from Mooresville, North Carolina!

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My Head in the Clouds on American Airlines – Aug 2017

 

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Starting  the descent for Charlotte Douglas International Airport – Aug 2017

(Note: I did not bring my camera,  just my older Iphone

I shall apologize for the quality of the photography in advance.)

 

NASCAR COUNTRY!

 

Alas, I am not here to visit Dale, Jr.  Though my daughter has met him.

She says he is just a good ol’ country boy, very down to earth.

I was  sad to hear about his retirement, he will be missed!

 

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Driving from Charlotte Douglas International Airport.
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Quick shot of Lake Norman as we drive by- A man made Lake.

 

 

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Not sure what they are but they line the roads… so pretty!
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Planes fly overhead as we continue to our destination.

Time flies by.

Hard to fathom,  it is just one month short of  year since my last visit.

FaceTime dinner with my granddaughter/daughter and her fiance’ has been the upside of modern technology!

My 3 1/2 year old granddaughter said  to me just last week,

“G’ma, when are you going to visit  me?”

To which I replied, ” I  will have to ask Santa, after all he  is a clever fellow.

Perhaps he can help  answer your question.”

That appeased her and off we went onto making silly faces and her  showing

me the latest  tricks of dancing, twirls, favorite colors and counting to 20 and above.

 

Actually my ticket was purchased  and I would be there to  surprise  her within 5 days.

I felt giddy with excitement.

Sadly, at that moment, I realized,  there was no recent memory of such a rush of  adrenaline  or  that same excitement that sparked my brain, caused my heart to sing.

 

Being a serious  adult had gone on way too long.

 

 

Embrace the priceless  moments.

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A princess running faster than the wind!

See the beauty in the side yard!

 

 

 

 

 

“Play is the highest form of Research” – Albert Einstein

 

“The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct.” – Carl Jung

 

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw

 

 

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Kind Regards and feeling open to all the  world has to offer. – K

 

Ooze

Ooh, Shiny!

Hay You!

“Behind every beautiful thing,

           there’s been some kind of pain.”

                               – Bob Dylan

 

 

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South Acworth, NH BGage Photographer Copyright- 2017

 

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Kicking up His Heels! BGage Photographer Copyright- 2017

 

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Family Reunion! BGage Photographer Copyright- 2017

 

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A Horse of Course! TheBlackWallBlog Photo Copyright 2007

 

 

4 Questions from Cee:

 

What was the last URL that you bookmarked or saved?

Expedia.com, for my upcoming trip to see my  3 1/2 yr old Grand daughter in

North Carolina! (It’s been 11 mos since the last time I had one of her precious hugs.)

 

Do you believe in the afterlife?  Reincarnation?

I believe that Rainbow Bridge is filled with animals I have loved and lost, waiting for the day I arrive. 

Numerous times in my life, I felt a presence or had a cardinal appeared,  I could feel in my heart and soul someone I loved was near.

One of those times, I was actually on the back of a dirt bike, I had this terrible feeling I had to get off . The driver thought I was bananas! But, relented, pulled over and let me off, a few feet up the road he pulled into his driveway, the throttle stuck, he had to jump off  and the bike went full speed ahead into the garage. It was a total wreck! 

 

 

If you were or are a writer do you prefer writing short stories, poems or novels?

A novel seems like quite the undertaking, though I have a friend that just had her’s published! For me, it’s poems, haiku and free flowing thoughts.

 

 

What inspired you this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination. 

I came home from work to two fabulous surprises! A friend had left fresh blueberries in my refrigerator, and one of my tenants along with a buddy had fixed the top of my driveway! It was Christmas in August!!  

 

“Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them.” – Bob Dylan

 

Come and join one of Cee’s photo Challenges!

 

Kind Regards, K

 

 

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Textures

Keep On Rolling…

I’ll admit it. It’s been a rough few weeks.

I haven’t been able to write.

No feelings of creativity or inspiration.

I’ve focused on survival,

It was all I could muster.

As I planted a smile on my face

and went to work each day.

Perhaps I was letting go,

Working on accepting what is.

Grief can come in all forms.

I haven’t seen or ever felt

there was a perfectly defined 

set of rules,

for how you make it 

through.

While watching some Hulu last night

Along came a song… 

Exactly what I needed, 

not that I knew what I needed.

But…

My mind, feet and soul  started to dance.

Whatever  was going on,

I am here now.

Happy Saturday to you!

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REO SPEEDWAGON sang it loud and so did/do I.  

“So if you’re tired of the same old story,
Oh, turn some pages
I will be here when you are ready
To roll with the changes, yeah, yeah…”

That song, produces pictures of

a time of my life filled with glorious memories…

I heard it last night and discovered

it STILL delivers a special message, meaning

and triggers a quickened heart beat.

(August 4, 2017)

It sparks a fire in my soul!

(Originally released in 1978!)

Yikes!!

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Unbelievable!  Or is it?

I have said it before and you will surely hear,

or read it from me again.

It’s the seemingly simple things in life,

that appear and help get you through.

No matter where you are,

Lounging on the couch,

Driving down the road…

Life,  inspires you, 

If you allow yourself to be open to suggestion.

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Whether it be the infectious giggling of a child 

in the grocery line behind you.

 A new or old favorite song on the radio.

An unexpected happy ending of a movie,

A call from an old friend,

A sweet bird singing in the branches 

Outside your window, 

Or a neighborhood dog that suddenly appears

Just to say hello.

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If it creates a spark of hope,

Quickens your heart rate,

Makes you feel good,

Grab onto it, embrace it!

Tap into the positive energy.

Allow it to help propel you forward.

To place one foot in front of the other,

On your journey  of life.

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Kind Regards and

         feeling grateful for a new day – K

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Photography of the tree trunk, flowers and the neighbor’s dog- 

Compliments of The BlackWallblog.

Casual
Satisfaction

The Bacon Journey

July 1st, WOWSER!!

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A Lady Slipper, found at White Rock National Park, VT. A rare find.

In my head,  excerpts from a CHICAGO song swirls

"Saturday, in the park, 

I think it was the 4th of July....

People dancing, people laughing
A man selling ice cream
Singing Italian songs
Everybody is another
Can you dig it (yes, I can) 
And I've been waiting such a long time
For Saturday..."

 

So much has transpired since LGB’s diagnosis

of late stage 2 esophagus cancer on March 24, 2017.

Great news!

His numbers are excellent,

they have discontinued chemo.

 

He has lost his voice and it may or may not come back.

 

He adapted and his Smartphone does the talking.

Have you ever thought what it might be like to pull up to your

favorite Dunkin Donuts drive-thru and NOT been able to give

your order?

Well his phone states his daily order for a Turbo shot iced coffee:

PROBLEM SOLVED. 

 

He has one more day of neck radiation.

Two weeks after that a Pet Scan.

If that is good, he is FREE.

Free to roam his beloved woods,

he and his camera can once

again become one.

 

WOO HOO!

 

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White Rock National Park, VT May 2017

FREE

Me, I have been attempting to survive while riding an emotional roller-

coaster.

It is difficult to watch your best friend in pain.

His neck is severely burned and I have done my best to be there for him.

When he let’s me. 

I gave him my all. 

I made a promise to myself to hold his hand while he made the Bacon journey.

 Aptly named due to the crispiness of what radiation treatment does to you.

Besides it adds a touch of humor. “Does anyone smell bacon?”

Oh it’s just LGB…

Okay, so we are a sick group of individuals, but who cares,

it kept us all chuckling!

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There’s a hole in my bucket Dear Liza, Dear Liza.. lol

LGB and I have been on a tumultuous journey much longer than

the Bacon journey. 

 

The realization that I have been just a passenger along for the ride in his life,

not just for this particular journey, but for the last two years has hit hard.

 

TRUTH- He has proved, though he states he loves me,

that I am only allowed to be a small part of that life.

He made so many promises, they were good intentions.

They wound up being broken promises. 

 

I knew deep in my heart, he was in love with the concept of me.

He liked knowing I was there.

And at one time, I loved him with all my heart.

For me, this is the last leg of his and my life trip together.

 

Sad, yet such a relief to jump off that emotional roller coaster.

 

I need to implement Self-care.

There have been warning signs; panic attacks, night mares,

constant fatigue, etc…

I have been ignoring myself and that is NOT okay. 

A difficult decision.

My mental and physical health

take precedence.

 

Being grateful:

 I am so fortunate to carry forward fabulous memories.

As I travel down my life path… 

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Who know’s what new adventure

may be just around the corner.

 

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Kind Regards and thinking of my best friend -K

 

 

Passenger
Delta

Mother’s Day 2017

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Along with a lovely top,  the above is an award I received from my daughter in a beautiful card filled with a list of how I have inspired her to become the woman she is today. I am lucky, blessed and beyond grateful. ❤

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The flip side, 2:30 am, Friday night, Saturday morning insomnia struck again.

Sitting in my kitchen, Mr Coffee gurgling my morning brew, little Abby lying at my feet, as I scribble in my journal. What is it they say about people with terrible penmanship? Their minds think faster than their hand can write? Perhaps, it is a sign of intelligence? 

My daughter is extremely bright and she has flowing calligraphy handwriting. My father’s, perfect little letters, were like newspaper print. Alas, my son and I have the doctor’s signature scrawl. Perhaps we missed our calling.

My son, God, how I miss him. A memory popped up on Facebook yesterday, something he shared a few years ago. It’s a veterans post that pokes at the giant hole in my heart.

Top Ten Things Your Combat Veteran Wants you to Know  (link)

These hit the hardest, yet somehow help me find comfort, since he returned from war,  he has not been a part of my life.  His choosing not mine.

“8. He may believe that he’s the only one who feels this way; eventually he may realize that at least other combat vets understand. On some level, he doesn’t want you to understand, because that would mean you had shared his most horrible experience, and he wants someone to remain innocent.

9. He doesn’t understand that you have a mama bear inside of you,that probably any of us could kill in defense of someone if we needed to. Imagine your reaction if someone pointed a weapon at your child. Would it change your reaction if a child pointed a weapon at your child?

10. When you don’t understand, he needs you to give him the benefit of the doubt.  He needs you also to realize that his issues really aren’t about you, although you may step in them sometimes.  Truly, the last thing he wants is for you to become a casualty of his war.”

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This will be the 7th Mother’s Day I have not heard from him. I did get my first Christmas card December 2016.  My heart felt the dawning of a new day. ❤

For seven years, I continue to watch out the picture window waiting for him to pull into the driveway. Why? 


That’s an easy question to answer:

“A mother’s love is forever. A mom never ever gives up!”

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Happy Mother’s Day to all!!  

       I hope you have a glorious day!

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Kind Regards and feeling grateful

                       for all the universe provides – K

…and then that special text pops up on your phone! ❤️🌷❤️

Final

I FOUND IT -Challenge accepted!

“Faith is almost the bottom line of creativity; it requires a leap of faith any time we undertake a creative endeavor, whether this is going to the easel, or the page, or onto the stage – or for that matter, in a homelier way, picking out the right fabric for the kitchen curtains, which is also a creative act.” – Julia Cameron

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I apologize, that I cannot recall who put out this challenge.

If it is you, please leave me a comment and receive credit!

It flashed across my phone within the last week and obviously stuck.

I’ll paraphrase, since I don’t recall the exact wording  – 

The challenge? Re-post your first post ever written. 

As I read it now, there is total recall of how low I felt at that moment.

There must have been a tiny spark of “perhaps if”, hidden deep

in my subconscious because reviewing the 14 months hence-

Damn!! “YOU HAVE COME A LONG WAY BABY!!”

 

WHY?

Why am I here? Why have I started this blog? (Not very original I am sure) But-

Here I am in a place, a good job on the line, AGAIN… thought I had it all together, AGAIN…. and IT appeared- that which I call THE BLACK WALL…How do I know it is back? The warning signs –  feelings of helplessness, panic, self doubt, night sweats, anxiety, sadness, depression, lack of concentration, struggling to keep my head up, lack of interest of anything; food, friends, I have zero hopes or dreams. Just the seemingly simple act of getting up in the morning drains the very life out of me. I am back peddling like an insect caught off guard in the tub.. the drain has been let out and I sure don’t want to go down that hole to the unknown blackness. I have been there…. It took me a long  time and one hell of a lot of courage, sheer will, damn hard work and sacrifice to climb out and I DO NOT ever want to go there again. NOT EVER!!

Why do i call it THE BLACK WALL? I believe the best way to explain it is this. There are times I hit my head against it as I am trying to break through and keep on going and then other times, without warning it takes another form, the swirling black hole of nothingness. Oh it whispers as though it would be such a relief to no longer have to struggle against it. The warmth of being wrapped in that warm comforting cocoon of nothingness, no pain, no sorrow, no fear… but having been there, I know better.

I have years of tools, for fighting those ghosts, why all of a sudden, now, has it decided to return? If i knew the answer to that one I wouldn’t be counting pennies, I would be counting  colorful tasty umbrella drinks while vacationing on some island off the coast of who know’s where, with my soul mate, enjoying life. Laughing, dancing, swimming, living it up. Not sitting here in my pajamas after another sleepless night at 2 pm in the afternoon. For when I am at my best – ME- I am one of those dreaded “cheery” morning people. Grab a cup of coffee, face the day, singing- (Oh! stop! growling!). Most people that (think they, know me, have not one clue that I experience this. They would tell you I am one of the most fun, easy going, kindest, glass is half full individuals, with great strength of character. One of those people that is independent, always helping others, love to make people laugh with savvy sarcasm, quick wit, paying it forward and blah blah blah…

So I guess the answer to why I am here is to help myself find the inner strength to start to work those tools AGAIN…. find my path to them with a little help from my friends, as the song goes. Why the blog? Maybe just maybe, together if you are struggling too, we can work on it together. Compare notes. Work it. Support each other. Anonymously or not.  That is entirely up to you.

So this is my first day… the writing probably doesn’t flow.. but if I get one person to want to attempt the journey with me. Find our sense of balance, take that first R.T.S (reasonable tiny step) forward, than it is going to be the beginning of something great! Wow, I think that was a flash of exuberance that just popped out. I call that HOPE. I know in my heart if I am willing to allow my path to be lead by the universe and I remember to believe in me, stop trying to control everything… it can work. It’s just so damn hard taking that first step…

You know in the BIGGEST battle in my life I had with the The Black Wall – I lost my son to that “SOB”. I was such a proud “Blue Star Mom” but  I had gone so low I couldn’t even be there the day he came home after a year away serving his country. I don’t think he has ever forgiven me… I know I have tried to forgive myself… but that story is for another day…

 

Better

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Kind Regards and feeling grateful for everyday – K

Photography compliments of LGB aka bgage on viewbug