Some days I dance!

Thank you Zen to Zany!!

Just as the veteran cannot control his flashbacks nor can an individual predict what dreams they will experience at night. A person who lives fighting depression is unable to control the days they feel down. But, the good news is they can try!

Unlike a bad case of the chicken pox, depression is not visible.  I have been told my depression is all in my head. Obviously, if you can’t see it, it cannot exist, right? Wrong!  We are near or next to people each day and have no idea they fight to embrace the positive side of existence.

There are days when I feel like that cartoon character that walks around with the pesky rain cloud overhead. Other days, I awake to find sunshine in my head, heart and soul.

Each day, I struggle to achieve inner peace and true happiness. My tool box filled with tips and tricks of being positive shows wear and tear from years of usage. It isn’t sitting in the corner collecting dust. Every morning, I journal my long list of gratitudes. I work on positive affirmations, listen to upbeat music, play and push forward through the storm towards the bright light of smiles and feel good moments.

Some days I dance, some days I falter.

Some days I am a circus clown doing a juggling act. Often, I grow weary and tired. Yet, I continue my goal to push through the wall that often seems to block my path to a life of content. Determination and the knowledge that I am a winner keeps me going.

I take the time to see the beauty that is all around me. I do my best to be there for others. Having watched the secret I continuously practice the art of staying open to what the universe can provide.   It is amazing what shows up at your front door when you least expect it. And the timing is always just right. If I had never allowed myself the chance, I never would have witnessed the miracle. Even writing this I can hear the groans of people that don’t believe. It’s okay! I was once a non-believer. All it took was one time and it literally turned my life around.

It is so frustrating when I hit, what I deem to be, a needless bump in the road. It literally took me 3 months the last time I started seeing a new Psychiatrist to prove that I was really working on winning. Unfortunately, there are some that whether knowing it or not undermine their own success. That is not me. I take my anxiety and low dose of depression meds each day as prescribed. Each meeting, I literally handed my bottles to the new psych doctor and asked him to count them, do the math, determined to prove I was a serious about being well. He really seemed surprised that I was so adamant. Finally, one day he looked at me and I could see in his eyes and hear in his voice that he believed in me. It felt wonderful.  I felt the victory!  Ahhh, relief! 🙂

My adult son messaged me one day- “You don’t have it all that bad, there are so many people worse off than you. I have watched you since I was twelve years old, mom. Why can’t you quit living in the past, enjoy the now and be happy?” I responded- “You are correct, I don’t have it all that bad.”  Then he was gone, not waiting for a further explanation. It was okay that he didn’t.  After all, I am his mom and my job is to support him in his journey of life. He doesn’t realize I see a lot of similarities of me in him. I see his struggles and his victories. I am proud!

Many years ago, when my children were very young we had someone close, take their own life. Suicide has never been an option for me. I have seen the impact on the people left behind. I know the questions that will never have answers. It is something that stays with you for the rest of your life.  You remember, but you have to let go and know that there is nothing you can do to change the past. I went to visit the grave and yell at him for being so stupid. In all, I ranted, raved and told him what I thought for over 25 minutes. I didn’t know why at the time, but I HAD TO DO IT!  It took the anguish and anger I was feeling away. That venting was mind and soul freeing and one of the best decisions I have made.  (I haven’t a clue whether or not anyone witnessed it. I am sure if they did they thought I was a nut case!) Oh well!  Smirk.

I truly believe that no matter what we face each day, things will get better!

“The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving.”– Oliver Wendell Holmes

“There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures.”– Josiah Gilbert Holland

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.”– William James

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”– Lao Tzu

“You may find the worst enemy or best friend in yourself.”– English Proverb

“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.”– Jack Canfield

Click below to hear

Matt Kennon – The Call music video- Posted by a veteran who knows





Kind Regards and #winning – K


My Cardinal

Spring was making it's comeback.
When a few weeks ago he appeared,
Just as dusk surrounded the eve,
I suddenly got the oddest feeling
Like someone, literally was staring at me.

I seemed drawn to peer outside my window,
There I saw gently perched upon a branch,
A cardinal brightly dressed in red.
He wasn't checking out his surroundings,
But peering back in at me instead.

I didn't feel startled but calmness and peace.
Was he bringing me some sort of message?
And though I had heard tales of such,
Of the appearance of loved ones lost,
Until then, I hadn't believed all that much.

And every fair weather evening since,
I am drawn to look out that same way.
Often he is there and then he is gone,
Though I have never seen him depart.
But there just seems to be a kinship about him
He like my dad, leaves the echo of a sweet little tune
That continues to play in the depth of my heart.



“Music touches us emotionally, where words alone can’t.”
―Johnny Depp

Thanks to Hulu plus, recently I watched the original version of the movie “Footloose” directed by Herbert Ross.  Starring  a very handsome Kevin Bacon and John Lithgow. It is hard to believe it came out in 1984- 32 years ago!! It had the same toe tapping, can’t just sit on the couch and watch, affect on me that day as it did then. As I was bee bopping around the living room, I felt exhilarated!  Isn’t that just  what I need on a bad day? Something uplifting to pull me off the path that leads to dark places? Music does just that.

Music can play such a big role in how we feel. For me, if I am driving down the road and the car is quiet- it is a warning sign. It means I am holding myself back from one of my life long pleasures and it’s time to turn on the radio or slip in a CD and CRANK IT UP! It can make me feel rebellious, help me have a good cleansing cry, bring back some long forgotten memory or aid in tension release as I sing at the top of my lungs. What type of singer am I? I belong to the group that probably  shouldn’t be allowed to sing in the shower. It doesn’t matter. My musical choice of the moment is within my control and some days that is all it takes to keep me on the right path.

When I am sad there are a couple of songs I utilize to lift my spirits. One of my all time favorites is called “Broken”, sung by Lindsay Haun in the movie “Broken Bridges” which starred Toby Keith.   Broken Sung by Lindsay Haun

I was just reading a post by Best Binaural about how music affects our moods. They discussed the experiments that continue on how our hormones and energy level can increase while listening to upbeat music. There is an overview of how soft rock, soothing tones such as wind chimes etc. can help with meditation. Read more at Best Binaural .

I have a close friend that meditates to Native American flute music. Walking into his home when he is doing his daily ritual of sage burning for aura cleansing of his surroundings, with the flute music flowing in the background used to transport me to another place almost instantaneously. It was something I had never experienced. There was a calmness that surrounded me. The first time it started to happen, it caught me off guard and I felt very uncomfortable. I forced myself to sit and chat for a bit. The longer I stayed, the more I was able to relax and embrace the sense of peacefulness .  It proved once again, that allowing myself to be out of my comfort zone was worth the few moments of anxiety I had to endure. Sometimes, you just have to go for it!

According to “Frontiers in Psychology” the enthusiasm for music has only been around for about 250,000 years or more. They introduce the topic with this: “Music listening is one of the most enigmatic of human behaviors…”  If you would like to read more on this subject here is the link.  frontiers in psychology link

By the looks of my blog today I am on a share a link mission. There is so much information out there and it certainly is not fair for me to paraphrase or take credit for it. Music and it’s impact on our very beings, where our mind wanders, the various type of healing it can spark, is one HOT topic! My feeling, I share the link, then you can look at your leisure. Maybe today isn’t the day you want to get into the technical side, perhaps you just want to read an overview and save the down and dirty for another day or perhaps never. Just have some fun with the very thought that the choice, your choice of tunes can set the tone and help you gain back some of the control of the way you feel. Today, belongs to you and should you choose it, can be your day for experimentation.

So what is your music of choice? I have so many.  I am a Country and Western fan, a 60’s & 70’s Rock n roller with a true love of Louis Armstrong jazz that discos on thru to the Donna Summer’s- “On the Radio” era then flips the switch to Otis Redding’s- “Dock of the Bay” and right into Jim Croce’s- “I Got a Name” which can actually lead me back to Bad Company’s- “Bad Company” and on towards AC/DC’s- “You Shook Me All Night Long” and right back to Billy Curryington’s- “People are Crazy”.  How fitting is that? (insert GRIN here).

Submitted by Bri57 :   Music  is an energy which flows thru us all, as a musician for the  past 48 years;  music is a true passion, it has  been a career, for relaxation and I write songs and music to express thoughts and ideas. Some are happy, some are sad and some  just to get them cleaned out of my head. My musical tastes run from country  to  classic rock to folk to classical, all of which appeal for different  reasons. It relaxes me in the joy of listening to it and challenges me with the creation of it.  When times are  dark, music has always  been  the light to get me  moving forward …

Thank you Bri57 for your contribution to the CRANK IT UP post! I am looking forward to more contributions from you and others in the near future.


zen to zany music 2


Special Note: Today is a very exciting day. Zen to Zany a wonderful artist and very creative lady has agreed to let us utilize some of her unique artwork and posts on our blog. If you aren’t familiar with her work, look her up on Facebook and/or check out her shop on Etsy. She is beyond inspirational.