By doing a second kombucha fermentation, even for 24 hrs will add fizz? Plus it’s the opportunity to add a couple of slices of fresh ginger to give your batch a zing!
Kind Regards and happy brewing- K
illness
Finally! Headed up the Home Stretch 4.18.19
Yes! Up… the home stretch!
No, DOWN here!
4.14.19, took my final dose of lorazepam!
Flushed what was left!
C’ya!!
Pollen is a higher than high in North Carolina today! Not sure if my head fog is from withdrawals or allergies or both!
What I DO know-
1) Don’t! Try this at home like I did!
2) Definitely! Have a good support system in place!
3) Look! For the bright side!
4) This is NOT EASY!! It’s HARD work!
5) It’s so WORTH it! (I have been able to tell in between medication drops!)
6) I’m soooo ready to be DONE!
I would like to thank each and everyone of my blog friends for their support! 💕
I’m sending out sunshine hugs to my beautiful daughter and family! Not sure what I would be doing without their visits! ☀️
#winning!!
Kind Regards – K
Locked in a Haze 3.22.2019
If anyone had told me 2 months ago this is how I would be spending today, I would have laughed at them.
But, here I am. In a hazy zone of .75 of lorazepam away of being free of over 20 years of medicinal prescription Xanax.
Not abused, but fighting the fight of panic and anxiety.
Day 3 in of this step and I’m living through swollen eyelids of fuzzy vision, achy joints, burning muscles and fog brain. Rather like driving down a road through thick fog on the dead of night in a downpour.
You can barely see to make your way home. Yet, you are determined to do just that!
As I am, determined to make my way home!
Get through this damn process!
Claim my life back!
Has it been just over a month?
Cripes! It feels likes it’s been a year!!
I’m not whining, though I would love to, ha ha! 😉
Keep those prayers coming! I’m headed for the home stretch…
Watch out, I’m coming home!
💋🎶🎶💋
#winning!!
Kind Regards and love to all – K
Photography copyrighted and compliments of K of theBlackWallBlog!
Nightmare within a Nightmare 3.2019
A freshly baked tingling, numb turnover
Filled with pudding-like loneliness
Drizzled with sadness
Placed in the center of the breakfast plate,
and served with a side of cold truth coffee.
I realize my physician is trying to help. If it hadn’t been for the fact my psychiatrist at home had suggested the drug, I would not have tried it.
Saturday, I drove the 12 miles to Walmart. (Yahoo me), and picked up my scripts. Included was the new one, $200 dollar for the generic version of Abilify.
Six hours from taking 1/4 of a pill, 5 mgs, I became very angry at the dogs as we were out in the field. A little voice in my head, thought, this is odd. Why am I mad at the dogs? Once we got into the house, the dogs had their treats and I settled to watch a movie, a dreadful feeling of loss, hopelessness and sadness hit my gut. I started to sob. I reached for tissue to capture the giant tears that rolled down my face.
Taking a few deep breaths, I thought, what the hell?
I grabbed a glass of water, inhaled and exhaled some deep cleansing breaths, then napped off and on for the next 12 hours. I was sooo tired. That was Saturday.
Sunday, I awoke, and took another 5 mgs. it wasnt long and I grew very sleepy, I hadn’t been up very long. Barely, long enough to shower and have some breakfast, take the dogs out and back to sleep I went. I awoke in a fog. Took the dogs out, felt the anger like rage pop up again. WTH? Something was wrong. Why was I so enraged? The dogs and I worked our way to the house, feeling exhausted I plunked my butt on the couch and researched, withdrawal symptoms and then Abilify.
Dang! it was the Abilify! A known side effect that was not put as a warning on any literature. Some of the stories I read and the study findings I discovered gave me goosebumps. Then, the sobbing started…
>>>>>>>>>
Another bump in the road. I will get through this one too. No more Abilify. As a matter of fact, no more “so called” helpful drug(s) until I am through the detoxing. I want to try the natural way. Good food and exercise. I have 2 mg of lorazepam to go.
Wish me luck.
Kind Regards and determined to win – K
After the Rooster Crows 2.6.2019
Good morning.
Happy Wednesday!
According to Siri, my I-phone, Troutman, NC should have a temperature
Around 70 degrees today! yahoo!
Do you have a morning routine?
I do.
Start the coffee, walk the dogs, feed the fur children, Marbre’, my cat, then my beloved canines, Chief and Abby.
Pour a cup of coffee.
Pop open the computer, a fresh word doc and type or grab a pen, my journal and write.
There is something about putting pen to paper, I find calming and soothing.
Early Morning Journaling
My scrawled words
Enrich the paper
Wtih sentiments, thoughts and wishes.
From dreams, to logging life’s events.
Whether fond memories, frustration or woes.
Releasing all upon a blank sheet,
Creates an inner harmony
No other early morning
Activity can beat.
Writing or typing allows me
An opportunity to
Makes sense of some,
Chuckle at others,
Or allows me, to set free
Any negativity from yesterday.
A clean slate,
Enables my heart,
My soul, my mind
To open, be trusting,
And accept
All the possiblities,
And potential,
Of a fresh, new day!
I am thinking of creating a journal with a large variety of life’s pictures, from a group of friends photos scattered throughout. The clicks can be used for writing exercises or for the viewing pleasure of the person who still journals. What do you think?
Kind Regards and #winning – K
Own the Day! 1.31.2019
Good morning all.
19 degrees here in North Carolina! We are extremely lucky considering other parts of the country are experiencing sub-zero temps.
I wanted to share a little something I wrote a few weeks ago. When you endure days with anxiety, panic and depression, you often have to reach deep to find your strength.
Writing brings my inner strength to the forefront of my mind and helps me grab onto the life I deserve! Putting my thoughts on paper, re-enforces the positive and gives me a little extra push, for my continuous journey forward.
Part of #winning is learning what it takes to be your own cheerleader!
Own the Day
‘Own the day or the day could own you.’- Kallie Knight
She was back! The drug, the doctor had prescribed day before yesterday, had taken her to a euphoria buzz, onto fog brain, then about 12 hours later, weakness, severe headache, heart palpitations accompanied by a sore throat.
Thursday had been a waste. She couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t think clearly enough to perform the simple task of washing the dishes.
Damn doctors, she thought. Why can’t they listen? She had told her new primary care physician, that anything he prescribed needed to be the lowest dose then divided by half. Thank heavens she had taken half a pill, 10 mg of the 20 mg prescription.
The drug? ESCITLOPRAM. It was supposed to enhance her mood, work with her current depression med. Now, she knew, when and IF she attempted it again, she was would only take 5mg.
Right now, she had responsibilities. Her dogs, prepping to finally, after a month and a half of living in an interim place, to MOVE! A REAL apartment! The place she would call home.
K smiled as she looked forward to hanging her hat!
YES! Today she would start to move a few things. Luckily, her daughter who currently lived there, had the second bathroom cleaned out. Today, she would pick the items that could fit into that room. Only, fifteen minutes away from her current location it was like the difference from night and day.
Troutman, NC was a slice of heaven! Acres of fields, open space with the bonus of horses and cows, down the road. It was the one place, her whole being felt at home.
FINALLY, she felt HOPEFUL!
Doing the best one can, under any circumstance is what earns a person the title of survivor.
Feeling intense relief, she sipped her morning coffee, and felt exhilarated!
She KNEW-
TODAY, SHE OWNED THE DAY!
Compliments of Zen to Zany!!
Kind Regards and #winning – K
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