Jobs Gone But I’m Not!

It’s been an excruciating

6 plus months.

I hung in there

But when you start

To get physically ill,

You have to make

A decision!

Can’t stand watching

Others being bullied

Nor do I have the patience

To be needlessly

Jerked right then left.

Forced to be constantly

on guard.

Management through

Fear and belittling

In place of team building.

It’s a sad, pointless

Terribly vicious circle.

I’ve watched over

Half the place jump ship.

I held on, smiled.

Head down, staying focused

Diligently working.

Then…

Well it doesn’t matter now.

πŸ₯€πŸ₯€

I have a passion!

A deep passion

To help others!

That feeling

washes over me,

As though I’m

Enjoying

A refreshing swim in the

Gentle heat of a

Warm sea of sunlit rays.

Renewing and exhilarating!

2010 changed me.

My bull in the china shop

Mentality ceased to exist.

My preference is

Peaceful harmony.

Of course, I don’t

Live in fantasy- land!

Life has ups, downs,

Lefts, rights, diagonals,

flips and flops!

All can be weathered.

It’s called living!

Things

We must remember,

When “it” hits the fan?

Get tos, gratitude

Taking care of self.

Mindfulness of

Our universal gifts.

Sounds of Nature,

Beautiful deep blue skies,

Gloriously bright

Sunshine above,

And ourself, we must

Show lots of love.

Nutritious food

We can’t ignore.

Stay extra active,

Take long runs or walks.

Make lists of all

Our strengths,

Plans to hang out

With an Ol’ friend.

Concentrate upon

The present moment,

Meditate, feel that light

Grow within.

An opportunity,

To start afresh and new,

A beginning

Not an end.

Clean your space

Take extra care.

Weren’t you always

Too busy?

An awesome time

To hoe, sell or throw.

Two awesome part time

Jobs can equal

That terrible one

For the interim.

Journal, research

Take breaks!

Inhale, fresh country air!

Relax

Those shoulders!

It’s a

A mini stay-cation!

Kind Regards and

Counting my pennies &

Remembering who I am- K

🌺Recommended by K🌺

Flower essences sold around the world. To learn more about their synergy please click on picture below.

Photography of post copyrighted & compliments of K of TheBlackWallBlog 7.2018.
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Did You Really Know Me?

When you were sick

With cancer

And going through

Treatments

I was beyond scared.

To your face

I smiled.

We celebrated

When radiation

And chemo

Were done.

A year passed

We celebrated!!

Still cancer free!

But there was a distance,

Quietly, I felt it form.

It was then

YOU decided,

As you often did,

Though usually

You just disappeared

Without a warning.

For days, for weeks

To do your thing.

Sometimes you’d

Climb in a bottle.

Now you’re sober

Over a year.

Sometimes you were

Depressed.

And needed time

To work it through,

Yourself.

This time it was different.

You told me

With your type of cancer

The odds were

Within ten years

You’d be gone.

So you wanted

To do your own thing.

I laughed…

Because I couldn’t

Recall a time

When you weren’t

Doing your own thing.

When YOU wanted.

And now your gone.

It’s rather like

You’ve passed on.

Sadly, madly,

Because of experience

I know the difference.

I can’t find comfort

In looking up

And talking to you.

Knowing

My best friend,

Who I shared hopes

And dreams,

Silliness and

Plaza ice creams,

Is out there.

I don’t think

You realize

It’s not that

I don’t understand

Nor might not want

The same, myself.

It’s all these years

Not once.

Not Even ONCE!

Did you ever

Take the time

To listen.

I asked for one thing.

Just ONE thing.

Not money,

Not the errands

Not the dinners

You cooked

So wonderfully.

I asked for your

Arms around me,

When I fell asleep

At night.

That’s ALL I ever wanted.

You freely offered

Everything you

“Thought” I needed.

I AM extremely grateful.

So many women

Want so much.

Materialistic things,

New cars

A man to pay their bills,

Etc.

Where as I

Being an independent

Spirit myself,

Understand

The need for freedom.

If you look back

You might recall

What were the

Times

Insomnia didn’t

Bother me at all?

Sadly, I wonder

Did you ever

Really know me?

For I knew you.

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

❀️

Kind Regards

And doing the work – K

How We Treat Others

In your journey of life

What is your aspiration?

To assemble or

Dismantle?

Build up or

Knock down?

A selfish person

Will attempt to

Demoralize with

Sharp tongued negativity.

A giving individual

Shows respect

Speaking

With sweet motivation,

Encouragement and

positivity.

So I ask,

What is your aspiration?

click on above for a little something special just for you.

πŸ’•

Kind Regards and hugs – K

Sometimes I Act Like an Idiot

Found this quote today-

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Unknown

☺️

A childhood core belief-

From an experience,

Buried deep,

Appears-

When I am hurt.

It triggers-

An old whisper,

“For survival,

You MUST fight back!”

🐾🐾🐾

As a so called adult

In my heart

I know, the truth,

Happiness comes from

Within.

Lashing out,

Accomplishes nothing!

It merely adds

Guilty feelings

To my pain,

Thus, I feel worse!

🐾🐾🐾

Happiness comes from

Within.

My joy grows

When I inspire,

Boost, cheer,

Lend a helping hand

Or listening ear.

🐾🐾🐾

My happiness

Is within my own

Soul.

A soul brimming

With golden sunshine,

Kindness and caring.

🐾🐾🐾

Why do I digress?

Panic?

Tailspin?

Into a realm of ugly

Retorts?

Because I have

Some work to do.

Face the inner negativity,

Define, recognize and

Acknowledge it.

Then I can be free!

Hard work!

I’ll start right now!

Why?

Past ghosts

Have no place

In the person

I’ve become!

Today,

I start the journey

Towards another

lifetime Win!

🐾🐾🐾

Just remember

You CAN

Break the cycle,

True happiness

Comes NOT from others,

Happiness comes from

Within.

β˜€οΈβ€οΈβ˜€οΈ

Kind Regards and

believing in me,

believing in you – K

My time!

When acquaintances

Stop you on the street

To ask, How you’re doing?

Breathe, smile

Let it be.

When you show up

To surprise someone

And it’s you

Who gets the surprise!

Breathe, smile

Let it be.

When you realize

It was a possibility

And now it’s not.

Breathe, smile

Let it be.

β˜€οΈ

No more worrying

About that we.

Breathe, smile,

Feeling my inner

Sunshine Returning.

Remembering who I am!

Reveling in that awesome

Freedom of me!

I’m breathing

I’m smiling

The world is mine

For the taking!

As I turn and walk away,

I breathe,

Hug myself and smile.

Time, to let it be.

Kind Regards

and #winning – K

Photography by KoftheBlackWallBlog. 6.2018

That’s Just My Dad…

Moon River

Wider than a mile

I’ll be crossing

You in style some day…..

πŸŽ΅πŸŽΆπŸŽΆπŸŽ΅πŸŽΆπŸŽΆπŸŽ΅πŸ¦‹πŸ¦‹πŸŽΆπŸŽΆπŸŽ΅

Dad, I can’t believe it’s been 21 years since you went off to play jazz sitting on a cloud!

In the quiet moments of a hard day- I can still hear you guiding me in the right direction.

When I close my eyes I see your smile.

(Playing with my daughter)πŸ’•
(My son, dad’s mini me)πŸ’•

When i listen to music i automatically pick out each individual instrument just the way you taught me.

(2nd from the left)🎺

When i dance i recall how cool it was as a little girl to be waltzing around the room while standing on your feet.

(Dad’s original
mini me, ME)πŸ’•

When i am near someone smoking a Tiparillo -i inhale and it reminds me of your occasional after-dinner cigar.

Each day i feel your gentle nature all around me.

Thank you dad for being you…πŸ’•

That’s just My Dad! ❀️🎢🎡🎢🎺🎺

Kind Regards and

Smiling with memories -K

Retrospective

As the Mind Races

This is from An interesting class

I took in 2010:

❀️

Shhhh

Let me close my eyes

For just a little while.

Take away the ever rush

Of should be, could be, was.

I want to envision

Endless fields

Of Colorful wildflowers,

Skies of blue and

Imagine the peace

Warmth and comfort

Lying in your arms

Embraced in a

Love forever true.

Just give me precious

Moments of peace and rest.

Shhh Slow gentle breathing

As I visualize

Long strolling walks

Through the woods or

Along the sandy shore.

Sounds of laughter and

chuckles

As we share life’s thoughts.

Stop this craziness.

Take me back there

Just once more.

As I lay my cheek upon

the coolness of your

Newly carved stone.

Allow me to steal

Another precious few

Then I’ll head home,

To start my life anew.

❀️

The idea of the class was to actually have a funeral for something or someone who made you sad.

I thought they were, dare I say nuts? Bananas?

Amazingly, this odd but simple exercise actually works for some of us!

Kind Regards and letting go of things – K

β€οΈπŸŒ·β˜€οΈ

Today’s a Good Day to

Remember,

Write it down,

Read it,

Read it AGAIN,

⭐️

You are strong!

Yes I am!

⭐️

You are loved!

Yes I am!

⭐️

You are caring!

Yes I am!

🌟

You are worth it!

Yes I am!

⭐️

You are successful!

Yes I am!

⭐️

You deserve the best!

Yes I do!

⭐️

You are winning!

Hot damn!

Yes I am!

❀️🌎❀️

“Ability is what you’re capable of doing.

Motivation determines what you do.

Attitude determines how well you do it.”

-Lou Holtz

🐾🐾🐾🐾

Kind Regards and right here with you – K

Photography by K of TheBlackwallblog.

Contentment in now

As a young child

I could

Lay on a blanket

And get lost

In the beauty

Of deep blue skies

Decorated with wisps

Of white clouds

Seemingly forever.

Obviously

Fifty years later,

Things haven’t changed,

Yesterday at lunch,

No blanket needed,

My eyes, heart & soul

Gravitated upward.

Click!

Eventually those wisps

Move on,

Dissipate,

But,

Their majestic

Mystery,

Peaceful exuberance

Remains.

Kind Regards and

Feeling content – K

πŸ¦‹

Photography copyrighted and compliments of K of TheBlackWallBlog 5.23.2018

Disappear

Shopping Trip

Run to the store

After work.

Pick up a few

From my mini list.

Overstuff my

Carry basket.

Checkout line

Ringing out.

Look behind,

There’s quite a line!

Seems I arrived

At the perfect time!

Feeling successful,

And compassionate.

Smiling,

Make some room

For the gal’s heavy things

Behind me.

Bagged up

Payment made

Off I start to go.

An Ol’ neighbor

Shouts a sweet hello.

I answer back

With a “How are you?”

Quick exchange.

Life

And a grocery store

In a small town.

Not one person knew

I conquered

A panic attack

To be there.

Kind Regards

and # winning – K

Awkward

Hello?

Can you see me?

You, sitting on the edge

Of my couch

Head tilted to your phone.

Can you hear me?

You sitting there

Physical body present,

Mindset unknown.

Can you talk to me?

You sitting there,

Quietly disengaged.

My inquiries,

Go unanswered.

Why are you here?

You sitting there,

Silent.

Me?

I feel trapped,

Sad,

Alone.

Kind Regards

and present – K

Infect

Individuality

Inside myself

I know my weakness’s

I know my strengths.

What triggers my tears,

What triggers my fears.

I have a grasp on

What brings me joy.

All that

Cannot define,

Me as a person.

Whether I’m bad

Or if I am good.

Not one thing

Above, can

Decrease my passion,

Deep within.

I WILL tell you,

I’m definitely NOT an

Opera Singer.

But with so many

Other things

I CAN DO!

My inner self

Knows I’m a winner.

Kind Regards and reminding you to concentrate on the positive – K

Drowning in Plain Sight

Drowning in plain sight.

I read an article recently where a woman used this phrase to express how she felt during her battle with depression.

Drowning in plain sight.

Wow, I thought to myself. What a powerful statement. What an accurate statement.

Walking into work the other morning I was suffocated by my own anxiety. My chest was tight. My breath was quick. My mind… racing. My throat… restricted.

There it was… my anxiety. Drowning me… in plain sight.

I walk past my coworkers on the way to my desk. “Good Morning!” I say as I toss a “genuine” smile in their direction. I do my best not to look anyone directly in the eye and walk hurriedly as though I’m late to be somewhere. No one thinks anything of it. They think everything is fine. (This is a skill I have perfected over the years.)

Little did they know… I’m drowning…

As I sit down at my desk the restriction around my neck tightens. I’m trying to breathe… “just keep breathing” I tell myself. Find something to occupy your mind…

Drowning in plain sight.

Then I start to think to myself. Where is the life saver, the raft, the arm floaties?

In these moments there is a choice. I can choose to let this feeling control me or I can learn to control the emotion. How does one stop treading water and learn to swim during these times? (Or at least do the doggy paddle!)

Fast forward on this day… I survived! I stayed the entire work day. I didn’t go home. I didn’t implode, or explode and no one around me ever knew what happened.

I chose to find a floatation device and hang on.

(To be clear, it was not easy and I was exhausted. But I moved forward. Slowly, but surely, I came out victorious!)

So, what did I do?

I reached into my “tool kit” and found the flotation device I had stored there just for this occasion. (Like these occasions are actually planned! HA!)

First thing I realized was that I didn’t have to do this alone. I sent a text to my counselor to let her know I was drowning and was in need of extra ideas.

Secondly, I talked through what was going on with my best friend. (I find at times if you speak the emotions out loud it will release their power! Writing the emotions out has the same effect!)

Next, I snuck off to the handicap stall in the bathroom and cried. That’s right, just let myself feel the wave! I listened to my mind and my body, I found appreciation for why it was sending me these warning signs. (I have learned that these moments exist to warn us of something. Our bodies have a message for us. Sometimes I simply ask myself… What do you want me to know? You’ll be surprised what you may learn. I always take a moment to say thank you. I appreciate the warning, as the warning is there as a means of protection!)

At the suggestion of my counselor, I talked myself through an exercise: As you breathe identify 5 things you see; 4 things you hear; 3 things you smell; 2 things you taste; 1 positive thing you feel.. (This forced my anxious thoughts to slow down. My breath became calm and more grounded.)

Then finally, I wrote down gratitudes. I wrote down positive affirmations. I wrote down statements about myself that are true. (Did you know your brain cannot feel two emotions at one time? Focusing on what you love, believe, and that which makes you happy forces your brain to shift in that direction.) This exercise pulled the plug on the pool. The Tide turned. I suddenly felt myself find clarity and the anxiety lifted.

There I was. Exhausted… but standing with my head above water. I survived.

img_0359

My hope is that by sharing this story it will help you find strength and hope. Maybe one of the tools shared here will be something you’ve been looking to add to your emergency kit. Every day is a new day, another opportunity to witness yourself come out victorious. Every step is a step forward. Tiny victories are still victories!

Much love, Super Snail 🐌

Tide

Empath? Huh? What?

Wow, you’re a What?

You feel that way, why?

****

Today I’m so

Tired, and drained!

Blah! ,Snore,!

Happy day, happy people!

Weeeee I’m dancing πŸ’ƒ!

πŸŒ·πŸ¦‹πŸŒ·

Emotional UP!

Emotional DOWN.

Stop the roller coaster I wanna get off! 😝😜

Sounds bipolar doesn’t it!

I’m nuts!

Ahem, SURPRISE!

No! You are NOT nuts!

Goofy at times, giggles, but

Intelligent, hardworking, kind…. etc etc but definitely

NOT nuts!

Well I feel that way!

Check this out!

Trust me!

Click the link!

The Science Behind Empaths

Forget Me Knots!

β€οΈβ€οΈπŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ™‹πŸ»β€β™€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ

Kind Regards and believing in you, always – K

πŸŽ΅πŸŽΆπŸ’ƒπŸŽΆπŸŽ΅

Article From Psychology Today.

Always You

In the beginning,

You were closer

Than anyone could ever be.

Little flutters, kicks and

Finally, I held you.

Then every night, up at 3.

To feed, rock and nurture.

My love surrounded us

To keep you safe and warm.

Back to work,

I had to go,

Throughout my day

Constantly, worrying

Wondering.

What were you

Doing, thinking,

Eating?

Often I would cry.

Until I rushed to pick you up,

My eves were spent

Holding, hugging, rocking

Singing you a lullaby,

Until you finally slept.

Lovingly I peered

Upon my sleeping babe.

And time continued on.

Seasons passed.

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Days flew by

We tracked your height

With an old yard stick

A mark upon the door trim wood.

We were close

Life wasn’t perfect

But felt fabulous.

And Oh so good!

Soon you were off to school.

Everyday, I wondered

What you were

Doing, thinking.

As the sun went down

In our world.

After homework was done.

We sat around the

Kitchen table,

You would share your stories.

We’d laugh and giggle.

Often,

We’d rush to your

Baseball or basketball

Practice or a game.

As my day would

come to a close,

I would wonder

What was I doing

Right or wrong?

Was I teaching you enough?

Giving you life’s resources

To be

Accomplished in your life?

Often I searched for answers,

As I laid there

Trying to sleep.

And time went on.

Seasons passed.

Now,

As the sun gently rests

At the end of my day.

Random texts arrive.

Phone calls,

I’m blessed with

Pictures in the mail.

You share

what you are

Doing and thinking.

I am proud of what

You are accomplishing,

In your daily life.

When I go to bed at night.

I smile and am

Ever so thankful.

Knowing it’s time

And patience

That has kept us growing closer.

Though distance keeps us apart.

As the years go by

And the seasons pass.

As it has always been

Since your arrival.

No matter how old you are

Or where your life

Might take you,

In my heart

The truest love.

Will always belong

To you.❀️

Kind Regards and thinking about my children -K

❀️

Photography compliments and copyrighted by BGage & K of TheBlackWallBlog.

Authentic

Each Morning I Awake

Saturday morning

I awaken,

Start the coffee,

Let the dogs out,

Let the dogs in,

It’s another day.

I pour my first cup,

Steaming roasted gold

Into my favorite

Coffee mug,

β˜•οΈ

Savoringly sipping,

Still groggy,

Mind blurry,

In my

Early morning daze.

Opening up my notebook

I jot today’s date,

Morning’s mind fog

Laggardly dissipates.

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.” -Woody Allen

Kind Regards and wishing you a fabulous Saturday -K

Photographs compliments and copyrighted by BGage and K of TheBlackWallBlog

Genie